Accepting one's life
by Shakye
Summary: This story is set after 1x08 "Utopia". It's mainly about Eretria's back story (through stories told by Eretria and the deaths of Cephelo and Zora, the underrated elf hunter) and a bit about Amberle and her falling for each other. Rated M to be safe. TW : Mentions of violence, mentions of child abuse and language.


Hi everyone! So this is my first fanfic. Please be gentle with the reviews but I do need criticism so go ahead if you have any. I feel I rushed the story to make it fit in a one-shot, sorry. I'm not confident enough to write multi-chapters yet, maybe in the future, so if you like the prompt and want it detailed and fully developed, let me know. Also, I'm French, English is my second language, so there may be mistakes in there but I try to be careful with that.

Finally I don't own any of the characters or The Shannara Chronicles. It's based on the TV-Shows with mentions of places in the books. Just to be safe Trigger Warning for: mentions of violence, mentions of child abuse and language.

Enjoy!

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The three of them have been running through the forest for hours now, leaping over roots and occasionally slowing down to look back on their non-existent pursuers. They haven't said a word to each other since escaping Utopia, mainly because of the insane pace set by Eretria. She took off right after finding Zora's body near the settlement. So when Will stops abruptly and yells: "Enough! Why are we still running?" Amberle stumbles and practically falls from surprise while Eretria takes out a knife and nearly throws it at him, restraining herself at the last moment.

Eretria answers in an exasperated tone: "because we need to put as much distance between us and the trolls, and", she takes a few threatening steps towards him, "because we're on a fucking mission to save the world, or have you forgotten?" She practically spits at him.

Will seems in shock so Amberle answers, trying to use a soothing voice: "you don't need to talk to him like that, we know, but Eretria," she puts a hand on her shoulder "we need to rest, we're far enough and we will need our strength to face whatever's waiting for us at Safehold"

Eretria sighs and turns around, brushing off Amberle's hand in the process. She takes a few breaths and visibly relaxes.

"Fine, dawn's about to break, we'll camp here a few hours but at noon we move again"

"Great" answers Will, still a bit shaken.

He's not used to Eretria being angry towards him, he's usually the peacekeeper between the two girls. Amberle on the other hand is concerned about her friend. She lost two important people from her past tonight, and even though things were complicated, it must affect her.

Eretria turns to face the others:

"Yeah… I'm going to get us some food."

She turns around again and starts walking in the forest.

Amberle calls after her: "Wait! I'm coming with you! Will can you please make a fire? "

She runs a bit to catch up with Eretria, not bothering to wait for an answer.

He yells: "yeah sure" with a smile and starts searching for dry wood around. He stopped worrying about the girls' safety a long time ago, they can take care of themselves.

Eretria keeps her focus on hunting, while Amberle picks berries and edible mushrooms along the way. The pair walks in silence, sometimes stopping at Eretria's signal. They aren't very lucky and after a while, Eretria's focus slips. She thinks about Zora's body, lying there on the ground. She should've buried her, but when she saw her and looked backed to the trolls invading Utopia, she started running. Of course she had good reason, they couldn't take on an entire troll army by themselves and had to go as fast as possible but still, she felt wrong, ashamed. Then her thoughts turned to what life would have looked like in a settlement like Utopia, with her own kind. Not having to fight every second for survival. Being free and a part of something good, an honest community, not like with the Rovers where she was just a slave. An underlying dark thought creeps up on her: the innocent kids in Utopia, she's the reason why they're all dead. She shrugs it off, it's Ty's fault. Still…

Her thoughts turn to Cephalo, her father figure since she was 11 years old. The guy was a complete bastard, but he did give her a chance. And his last apologies seem sincere.

Life before the Rovers was horrible, and even though she hated being used to steal or con people, it was an improvement. She tried to block her early childhood memories, mainly because they involved Zora, and she couldn't deal with what happened to her, or their history, right now.

Tired of the silence, and because she sees tears forming in her friend's eyes, Amberle asks gently: "Hey, you know, if you need to talk about…" she's cut off by Eretria's dark laughter.

"Let me stop you there, princess. I'm not spilling my guts to you."

"Why? That's what friends are for… And we are friends aren't we?" asks Amberle, in a frightened voice.

Eretria sighs: "After everything, we are, but you wouldn't get it"

"Because I'm a spoiled Elvin princess, is that it? Well, you're wrong I get it! I lost my parents, Eretria. Remember we're both orphans. I know about mourning, and guilt, and confusion. I know how it feels to think you're alone in the world now and no one will truly be there for you. I know the craving to be left alone with your tears and dark thoughts. I know the fear of getting attached to people because you now know the pain of losing them. What I don't know is what's going on in that head of yours…" Amberle lifts her hand to cup Eretria's cheek and rubs her thumb underneath her eye, and to her surprise, Eretria lets her "And there are things that I don't get, I can't know everything. But please let me listen. Trust me, talking is a first step in healing." She finishes her rant with tears in her eyes.

Eretria bows her head and whispers: "I don't know how to".

Amberle smiles, wipes her tears with her free hand and gently lifts Eretria's head up, so to look in her eyes. The world stops for a moment as they are both rediscovering each other. Eretria often admired Amberle's blue eyes, but lit only by the moonlight and wet with tears, they looked like crystal orbs, a window to a new world. She completely forgets her sorrows, her mind studying those eyes staring back at her, seemingly alive on their own.

Amberle was taken aback by Eretria's chocolaty brown eyes. They are very expressive, but always with a certain hardness in them. Even when she was seducing her at Pykon, they looked predatory, giving Eretria an animalistic quality that turned Amberle on but also frightened her. Tonight, though, Eretria's eyes took on a shade of gold in the eerie light, and they screamed of vulnerability and sadness, something Amberle had never seen before in them. It scared and humbled her at the same time. She felt truly privileged.

But she also saw hope in them and it warmed her heart. She was going to get through this.

After a few seconds, both women remember to breathe and look away. Amberle lets her hand fall and they take a step back from each. She feels awkwardness creeping up and decides to talk:

"You know, what helped me a lot after my father's death was talking about him to people. It felt like I was reliving those memories and he was there with me. You could tell me how you and Zora met."

Eretria smirks: "Trust me princess, you don't want to know that story."

And with that Eretria is back in tracking mode, spotting a trail. Amberle sighs, _that girl is impossible_ but she feels a smile creeping up. She's really starting to like Eretria.

After a while, Will starts worrying. He decides to call out in the forest:

"Amberle!", "Eretria!"

A flying knife inches from his nose shuts him up and makes him jump.

"Seriously, Eretria?" Amberle frowns, her hands full of berries and mushrooms.

"What? Had to make him stop one way or another, and his scared face is just priceless" Eretria answers, a playful smirk on her lips and carrying a dead rabbit.

"That's not a good enough reason to throw a knife at your friend. But Will she's right. Keep it down. The fire is enough." Amberle replies.

"I'm glad I can amuse you" Will mumbles, sensing a shift in the group's dynamic. "I was getting worried, you took your time."

"Yeah, well, it's harder to hunt at night. Even with a clear sky like this you can see pretty well but not the small details. So when you catch a trail it's usually too late. "Eretria elaborates, then turns to Amberle setting her provisions by the fire. "But sometimes, you can see things that are invisible in daylight, and make the catch of your life at the most unexpected hour."

Amberle smiles at her, thinking back to their moment under the moonlight, secretly hoping Eretria meant the same. Eretria is a bit shocked by what she just said, although she realizes she truly meant it.

They prepare the stew in silence, everyone focused on their inner thoughts. After eating the berries for dessert, Eretria offers to take the first lookout shift, feeling too restless to sleep.

She sets herself against a tree, looking in the direction of Utopia for trolls. Meanwhile, Will and Amberle lie down together on the opposite side of the fire, still burning high. After a couple of minutes, Will starts snoring and Amberle seems asleep in his arms. So she lets her mind wander, and of course it takes her to Zora, and the most difficult decision she ever made. She recalls the few days leading up to their break-up and Eretria leaving her in the wilderness to fend for herself. She was 16 and Zora 18, they were living in the rover camp under Cephelo's command. It wasn't an easy life but at least they had a roof over their heads, so they kept stealing from innocent people and trolls. But Zora was getting angrier and angrier, losing control sometimes, when the rover guys were getting too handsy. Eretria always stopped her from going too far, because they had one rule: kill only if you have to.

One night Eretria was coming back from a late heist with a few men. They heard noise from the center of the camp and guessed it was another fight. A rover tradition is to fight someone to the death and if you win, you get a cut from the gambling profit. So they went to see who was fighting. The vision that greeted Eretria was one of her worst nightmare. Zora was getting beaten up by one of the biggest rovers in camp. She was in pretty bad shape and when she hit the floor, Eretria screamed at Cephelo to stop it. He just replied that Zora made her choice, nothing he could do. At that point Eretria was about to slice his neck with a knife and make a run for it, but something unexpected happened. The crowd started shouting "ZO-RA! ZO-RA!" and when Eretria turned around, she saw her bloody girlfriend plunging a dagger in her opponents' heart, a smile on her face.

Eretria felt dizzy, she couldn't believe it. Zora wanted this, she wanted to kill. She ran to her tent and started punching the furniture around, tears streaming down her face. After a while, she slumped down an armchair, exhausted. That's when Zora entered the room, clutching her side and limping. Her nose was broken and she had a nasty cut on her right thigh. Eretria guessed she had a few broken ribs too. Zora started speaking but Eretria cut her off by walking out. That's when she heard Cephelo and one of his regular buyers, Marcus, haggling about Zora. Marcus wanted to buy her to make her fight across the Four Lands, in arenas, until her death. Cephelo wanted a better price for her.

Eretria made a decision. Even though she felt betrayed by Zora, she still loved her. So she went back to her tent and offered drugged wine to her beaten girlfriend. A few minutes passed when Zora realized what happened. She stood, anger in her eyes and went to punch Eretria but fell just before. Eretria caught her and carried her out discreetly. Right before she passed out, Zora spat the words: "you bitch". Eretria smiled sadly, she will miss her but there isn't much of a choice here. She saddled her horse and strapped Zora on the back. She took off, riding for hours. When she reached the complete wilderness, she dropped her on the grass. She kissed her one last time, muttering: I'm sorry" before mounting her horse once more and going back to the rovers camp, where a pissed off Cephelo was waiting for her.

Eretria was about to reminisce on her punishment, when a small nudge to her shoulder startled her. She looked up to find Amberle staring at her, concerned.

"Hey, you ok?" Amberle asks, eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Why aren't you curled up to your boyfriend?" Eretria replies, more forcefully than she wanted.

Amberle contemplates answering sarcastically and going back to sleep but, something isn't right with Eretria so she presses on: "Look you don't have to tell me anything, but please don't lie, you're not fine, and that's ok."

Now it's Eretria who ponders on sarcasm or honesty. She looks deep into Amberle's eyes and sighs: "I miss her" Amberle looks confused so she continues "Zora, the elf hunter, I miss her. Well the old her anyway". Eretria smiles sadly.

"Why? How was the old her?" A few weeks ago, Amberle wouldn't even have bothered asking. She would've assumed that there was nothing more to a girl like Zora. That she was just an elf hunter. She never would've asked why she was an elf hunter.

"You really want to know?" Eretria replies, frowning.

"You've grown up with her, she means a lot to you and you mean a lot to me. So I want to know about her". Amberle answers simply "And I want to know what you found in her, too" she adds, a smile on her lips.

Eretria smirks playfully: "Why, are you interested?"

Amberle just punches her shoulder playfully so Eretria clears her throat. "Ok, so we met when I was 6. I was owned by a human named Lurco, he was like 40, completely bald and practically always drunk. He was pretty stupid too, we used to steal food from the kitchen all the time and if we got caught we blamed the dog next door. There wasn't a dog next door." Eretria smiles and Amberle chuckles. "We were living near a small town called Grimpen Ward. It's full of rovers and criminals. There's a lot of illegal trade and gambling there. Lurco owned a bunch of slaves, just kids. Children are half-price on the slave market, and he was a cheap son of a bitch". Anger flares in Amberle's eyes, Eretria just shrugs and proceeds with her story. "We worked on his farm every day, taking care of the horses and crops alike. Zora was his newest acquisition, she was 8 and wasn't used to slavery. Her parents just died, executed by elves. They were rovers by choice. When she arrived she tried standing up to Lurco, but she just got beaten down. After that she was scared and sad all the time and didn't move from the room. I brought her food stolen from the kitchen and helped with her chores. After a while we became friends, and when one of us was too weak the other would take the beating instead. The years passed and we were there for each other, having fun in spite of our situation. We became like family. People treated us bad but we had each other. One day, when I was 10, I fell sick and couldn't get out of bed. So Lurco went up to get me, which was a first, he never went in the attic, where we were sleeping. He dragged me out and I saw the other kids fleeing in the forest, past the field, including Zora. He was about to run after them, so I gathered my strength and started kicking him, to take the focus off the kids. He turned around and, after punching and kicking me a few times, I was on the ground and couldn't get up." She paused there, breathing in slowly, trying to calm herself. Amberle looked worried but didn't say anything. After a while, Eretria continued: "He took his belt off and started hitting me with it. He kept shouting that I was worthless and no that it was no wonder my parents abandoned me. It wasn't the first time so I wasn't surprised. The last thing I remember before passing out is Zora running towards me. When I woke up, she was there, taking care of me. She looked awful, but she was still smiling so I figured it wasn't as bad, although she never told me what happened. We fled the farm that night and lived of stealing in town. A few months later, I managed to steal a pouch of money from Cephelo, but he caught me afterwards. Instead of beating me up, he decided to buy us from Lurco. And that's how we became rovers."

"I'm so sorry Eretria" Amberle says, a pained look in her eyes.

"Don't be, I don't need your pity" Eretria replies with a gentle tone. "You wanted to know who Zora was to me, and that's it. She had my back for years, we grew up together… And even though it didn't end well between us, I still cared for her. But I guess she didn't." She states matter-of-factly.

"Hey, people change. You did abandon her" Amberle stops Eretria's interruption by putting a finger to her lips, which shuts her up efficiently. "Let me finish… I believe you had good reason but still she probably felt betrayed and her selling you was payback. Don't take it personally, you humans love your revenge." She adds with a smile.

Eretria smiles back and rests her head on Amberle's shoulder: "Well if you're not going to sleep, I will. All this spilling my guts thing is tiring."

"Sure make yourself at home but I'll wake you up for my shift" Amberle replies. She's answered by a groan and is left to her own thoughts, trying to figure out Eretria.

About 30 minutes later, the Rover wakes up: "You're not that comfy for a princess."

"Are you expecting me to apologize?" Amberle answers, faking indignation.

"No, I'm pretty sure there's a rule against royalty apologizing to commoners" Eretria smiles back.

"I'm impressed you'd know about rules since I'm pretty sure there's a rule against insolence too. But you don't really seem to care do you?" Amberle replies playfully.

Eretria chuckles: "You're right I don't. Now if you don't mind I'd like to watch the sunrise in peace".

Amberle looks up and spots a pink color coming through the horizon below the trees. "A forest isn't ideal for a sunrise, you know"

Eretria turns to face Amberle and presses a finger to her lips, shushing her. The princess smiles at her, and not for the first time, Eretria is amazed by her beauty. After a loud _fuck it_ in her mind she cups Amberle's face and presses a soft kiss to her lips. She's thinking about pulling back and apologizing when Amberle kisses her back, grabbing the hem of her jacket and pulling her close. Eretria is surprised when the princess sweeps her tongue over her lower lip, demanding full access to her mouth. The rover obliges and lets out a moan when their tongues connect for the first time. They kiss each other eagerly for a while before the princess pulls back, a smile on her face. "Please do shush me whenever you feel like it"

"I will, princess" Eretria answers, putting her head back on Amberle's shoulder.

They watch the rest of the sunrise together. Once the sun is completely up, Amberle prepares for the cheesiest speech she ever gave, but it's the sincerest she ever was.

"I know you didn't choose this, or us" She gestures towards Will and then back to her. "But I really care about you and when we survive this quest I'd like to help you set up the life you want. Whatever you want. I just want to be a part of it, if you'll have me" She smiles shyly to Eretria.

The Rover smiles back, and pecks gently Amberle on the lips: "Of course I'll want you in my life, just need to figure things out, once this is over. Now go get some sleep!"

Amberle goes back to her place near Will, who is still snoring, winking at Eretria before drifting off to sleep.

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So there you have it folks, I'm not really happy with it but I really wanted to delve into Eretria's backstory. I might do a multi-chapter about her past, but it would be way darker. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


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